Between mismatched socks and endless cups of tea, we discover how the most absurd excuses can become both the brake—and sometimes the spark—of writing.
By Lidia Roselló
HoyLunes – I’ll confess something: sometimes I don’t write simply because I don’t feel like it. There, I’ve said it. But the dangerous part isn’t laziness itself, it’s the highly creative excuses my brain invents to justify it.
And the worst part: I actually believe them.
Today I’m bringing you a small collection of my favorites, just in case you’ve ever caught yourself doing the same (and so at least we can laugh about it together).
1. I need to sort my socks by color
Nothing is as inspiring as a perfectly organized drawer, right? Well, no. But there I am, folding socks as if they were chapters. Spoiler: in the end I didn’t write a single line, and on top of that I discovered I’m missing pairs—the washing machine kidnaps them.
2. Diva is giving me a strange look
My little dog has the ability to judge me with her eyes alone. When I sit down to write and see that face saying, “Are you really going to ignore me?”, I immediately get up. And the worst part is she ends up with an extra walk and I’m left with a blank document.
3. First I’ll clean the table… then the whole house
It starts with an annoying crumb next to the laptop and ends with a cleaning marathon worthy of a bleach commercial. Result: I’m exhausted, the house is spotless, and the novel is still blank.
4. Maybe I should learn origami first
Because of course, folding paper cranes is clearly an essential requirement for writing a good romantic scene.
5. If I don’t make the perfect tea, I can’t write
The tea ceremony becomes a whole ritual. And when it’s finally ready… I no longer have the energy to open the document.
6. Tomorrow will be a better day
The queen of excuses. A classic, like that song that never goes out of style. The problem is tomorrow turns into yesterday, and suddenly it’s Sunday with zero words written and a lot of regret.
The truth is I could go on, but I’m a bit embarrassed to admit how many times I’ve given in to these surreal justifications. Although, come to think of it… they do have a certain creative charm!
But let’s not fool ourselves: as funny as excuses may be, stories don’t write themselves.
You have to open the document, type the first word, and let the character take it from there.
Absurd Excuses That Hold Back Writing (and How to Laugh at Them to Beat Them)
Here are a few tricks that work for me:
• The 10-minute timer. Promise yourself you’ll write for just ten minutes. It’s so little it doesn’t feel daunting… and usually, you end up writing much more. I promise!
• The silly sentence. Instead of waiting for inspiration, I start by writing any nonsense: “Estela hated Mondays as much as she hated the dust bunnies on the floor.” Then I delete it if I want, but the ice is broken. That first-sentence block that usually keeps you from moving forward is gone.
• The food bribe. “If I write one page, I’ll reward myself with a piece of chocolate.”
It works. Sometimes so well that I end up with half a bar gone and a whole chapter written.
• The pact with Diva. I tell my dog: “Once I finish this scene, we’ll go for a walk.”
Spoiler: there’s no stronger motivation than those sparkling eyes waiting by the door.
• The ridiculous tactic. I force myself to write down the excuse I’m making (“today I’m not writing because…”). Reading it back is so absurd that I end up laughing and then writing for real.
And now tell me: what’s your most absurd excuse for not writing? And never forget that we’re in “La Habitación Naranja“—that safe space where you can share your doubts, your texts, and even your quirks as a writer without judgment (here we all perfectly understand the sock thing).
#hoylunes, #lidia_roselló,
